I Have No Kitchen.

Well, it only took 4 hours on a Saturday morning for my kitchen to go kaput.  Minutes before hammer met wall, I began to feel a bit guilty about what was about to happen.  Someone built a kitchen that has lasted for almost 70 years, and here I was, about to destroy it.  It might not have been functional for modern day living, but it WAS solid.

Look at the inside of those cupboards...I will miss that pop of teal blue.
Miss Mamie was a color rockstar when she lived here.

The hesitation was short lived, though.  Dreams of a dishwasher and actual counter space becoming reality trumped any guilt I felt about destroying someone else's work.

And just like that...

...my kitchen disappeared.

When Dave came home to an empty room that afternoon, his first response was, "This place stinks".  He's right.  Uncovering wood and insulation that hasn't seen the light of day in 66 years doesn't smell like roses.  It smells....old.  I'm just waiting for the smell of new wood, fresh paint, and wet varnish to fill our nostrils with the pleasant aroma of toxic cell killing freshness.  It'll come soon enough. Till then, we breathe deeply to inhale what are most likely asbestos and lead particles.  (Don't worry, Mom...the dust was properly contained and removed during demo- I'm just making jokes.  Promise.)

So what surprises has this house revealed thus far? 

1.  Wires hidden behind one cabinet bulkhead that need to be moved.

I forgot to snap a picture of the wires before they were moved.  Whoopsie.
Instead, you get more holes and future range hood draft ducting.
Bonus? If you look closely, you can see remnants of all of that glorious
mid-century metal mesh that holds the horsehair cement and plaster to the walls.
Old houses are where it's at, yo.

2.  Pipe hidden behind a second bulkhead that needs to be moved.

Well, umm, once again, my contractor was too quick,
 and got to the pipe before I had a chance to take a picture.
At least I know he's doing his job, right?

3.  Wallpaper!

You'll have to pretend you're in a drug induced haze while looking at this picture.
The only strip of wallpaper that was left was stuck behind molding that was ripped off,
only to be promptly covered over with plastic to contain the dust.
I can't even gain access to the kitchen without asking permission,
so fat chance I was going to get a clear picture just for you all!!

4.  The kitchen wall cutout (not original to the house) was never properly supported by a header.  My closet is directly above this wall.  Could it have caved way at some point?  Maybe.  Wouldn't that have been an absolute mess?!

The ceiling was bowed about 3/8" in the center...yikes.

Whew...all better.
Notice something else that's now missing, though?
The ceiling.  Had to make a sacrifice to get all of my new lights wired in.

Next up?  Finishing the non pretty stuff...electrical, plumbing, and mechanical work.  Snooze fest.  Wake me up when the cabinets arrive.

No Power? No Problem.

This summer was a crazy one for SE Michigan.  We've had hail, wind, rain, and floods that have just been bananas.  BANANAS.  One day last month, the internet kept warning me that yet another storm was coming...yippee, right?

And storm did it ever.  We lost power on a Friday evening, and didn't get it back til Sunday night. Sooo, what to do with a weekend full of power outages?  Can't break out the sewing machine.  Can't break out the power tools.  Can't even cook because I don't have a gas stove, and the refrigerator has become a bacterial death trap.

Luckily, I had just cleaned out the fridge the week before, emptying bottles with expiration dates of 2011 stamped on them.  Yikes.  Apparently I didn't need a power outage for my fridge to be a death trap.  Anyone else clicking out of this blog to go check your condiment bottle expiration dates right now?  You might want to.

Let's wait a minute while people do that (insert Musak here).

Everyone back?  So, after the Great Fridge Cleanout of 2014, I bought a few plastic bins at Target, and labeled them with a few of the most commonly grouped items for easy reach.  Even though I have a small fridge, things still seem to get pushed to the back and lost for eternity, shriveling up and dying, only to be discovered weeks later with a, "Hey, I could have used that if I had known it was back there!" 

Lucky for my wallet, when the power went out, I hadn't yet gotten around to replacing all of those staples that I usually kept in the fridge.  Win for big grocery shopping procrastination!!

So, with an empty fridge, no power, and plenty of time on my hands, what is there to do?  Well, lots of things, but only one I'm going to actually write about in a public forum.  Get your minds out of the gutter, people...I'm talking about going to the movies, which no one wants to hear about.

After my last post detailing my lovely little Wine Sign for my sister, I thought I could just pull more wood scraps out of the garage and paint.  So I did.  I'm not really feeling a detailed instructional play by play on this, so I'll just show you a few pictures and then reveal the final product.

Can you spot me in the glass table reflection?
It's the blog version of Where's Waldo!

Add some tape in your favorite geometric shapes!

Slap on some mastic!

Layer on some paint!

Keep on layering!

Take a picture!

Then take a closeup!

I have no clue what I'm going to do with this.  I'm not even a huge fan of modern art pieces like this one, probably because when I see them hanging in a gallery, I think, "Why would I pay thousands of dollars for this when I could make it myself?"  Annnnd I think I just proved my point.

In honor of my Storm Happened, Lines are Down, DTE Can't Work Fast Enough, No Power weekend, this piece is titled, "Edison."


It's Electricity Appreciation Day in this house, peeps!

Don't be Frigid.

This is my fridge.

Nope, I didn't straighten the magnets before taking this.  Deal with it.

We stand at the same height.  Short.  While I'd like a new fridge, buying one would mean major sawzall surgery on the cabinets above, as they are all one continuous built in piece.  Builders did NOT take the easy way out in the 1940's.  As with everything in an old house, replacing just one thing doesn't ever happen.  A domino effect of repairs and replacements will inevitably take place.  While I sigh and dream of having a fridge that has an ice maker and can hold more than a gallon of milk, I'm holding out for a full kitchen gut. 

Last week, the first domino in the kitchen redo began to wobble.  The meat drawer in the fridge broke.

That string?  Didn't do a damn thing to help hold the drawer up post-break.

Dave and I looked at some new refrigerators online, and outwardly groaned at the work that would have to take place to get this problem taken care of.  Ugh.  New fridges aren't cheap, either!  I ended up searching around some more on the internet, and found a website with replacement parts.  Luckily, they had a part for me.  Unluckily, it was THIRTY DOLLARS.  For a piece of plastic.  Ridiculous.

I bet this piece cost 2 cents to make.

There was a small screw holding the broken drawer track to the shelf, and was the only thing that needed to come out.  I ended up having to make a run to the hardware store for a screwdriver that was tiny enough.  Isn't she beautiful?

Yep, I'm an extra long eyeglasses screwdriver!

Once I had the right screwdriver, it took five seconds to pop the old track out, and another 5 to screw the new one in.

I know, my hand looks malformed.  You try using a screwdriver and taking a picture at the same time.

Can you tell the difference between the broken and new pieces?

The first domino in the kitchen redo may have wobbled, but it's back to being stable.  Darn.

Fixed.  And I am fully aware that bananas don't go in the fridge, but I had an unfortunate fruit fly invasion that required drastic action.

I'd like to leave you with a fabulous picture today.  I stopped into a shop with my lovely friend Venesa this afternoon, and an inappropriate Buddha spoke to me.  Or, more accurately, his $5 price tag spoke to me.  He will find a happy space somewhere in my house, and I'll smile every time I look at him.  I now give you all permission to go buy something silly for your house, just because it makes you smile.  Don't we all deserve to have our homes make us smile??

What a sexy beast.